Ducktales: Remastered

DEVELOPER: Capcom
PUBLISHER: Capcom
Played On: PS3

Initial Impression: Woo-oo!

Liked:
- Story
- Visuals
- Music

Disliked:
- Gallery Content Locked

On The Fence:
- Control Scheme Still Sucks (Maybe)



I was about 14 on the verge of 15 when the NES verion of DuckTales (based on the wildly successful Disney cartoon of the same name) was released. Being a huge fan of the "Disney Afternoon" block of cartoons that included Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck and Talespin, it was a sure-thing that I'd love this game back then, and I did.

The funny thing is that I never owned the game, despite having played it at least a few dozen times. Back then, I had a network of friends who all shared games, so for my copy of Super Mario Bros. 2, I could borrow DuckTales for a while (or at least until the other person beat/got sick of SMB2). All this set up with a trip down nostalgia lane is pretty much what forced my hand at picking up DuckTales: Remastered.

So... What's New?
Well, you'd think that with a remaster it'd be pretty cut and dry, right? Slap some pretty new graphics on there, maybe upgrade the sounds and music a bit and call it a day. Well, they did that, and they did more. The comparison between the NES version and the remaster is like trying to compare the original Ford Model T to a current Porsche 911. Sure, the older one did the trick, but the newer one does it so much better.

L: NES R: PS3

I shouldn't be so hard on the older version of DuckTales, but dammit if nostalgia doesn't cloud your memories. Even seeing that screenshot comparison there makes me think  the old one wasn't THAT bad... but then there's stuff like this:

Liked

The interface is better. The music is great. The animation is awesome. The backgrounds are amazing. This was so much better than I expected, and a great reboot for some of my best gaming memories. Almost everything about this remaster is fantastic.

Almost? (Disliked)

Yeah... almost. So as you go through the game you amass wealth, just like the first time around. The more you accumulate, the better your end score (and certain point levels have better endings, but there are minor differences regardless). The one thing they added is an awesome gallery of development materials... that you can unlock... using the money you acquire in-game.

One run through the game will not get you enough to unlock everything. Two will not either. Nope, not even three. I can't recall how many it takes, but I want to say it was close to ten. When I was a kid, playing DuckTales ten or even twenty times in a row was no big deal. I mean, I had nothing better to do, so why not? These days I don't quite have the luxury of that free time. As much as I want to see the gallery of cool stuff, I can't devote that much time to replaying the game.

On The Fence

I'm not entirely sure if the controls are all that much better. On one hand, yes - I don't have to use that horrid little NES controller. On the other hand - Scrooge still has moments of totally shitty control. It could also be that I completely suck at platformers now. I'm completely willing to admit that.

In Conclusion

If you were a Disney Afternoon kid who played the NES version of this game, do yourself a favor and go get it for the PS3 (or on Steam). It's worth every penny.

Castle Crashers: Mini-Review

DEVELOPER: The Behemoth
PUBLISHER: The Behemoth
Played On: PS3 & PC

This is what the box art would look like if it came in a box. As far as I've seen, it's a digital download on both the PSN and Steam.

I've purchased it on both systems (Steam sale made it $5 for 4 copies, 3 of which I gave to friends) as well as the Pink Knight and the Blacksmith character (purple knight with stag horns). I play it far more often on the PS3 just because the controls are easier to handle. I have an XBOX360 controller to hook up to the PC but haven't picked up the adapter yet.

On to the mini-review:Castle Crashers is a ridiculously fun, 2D sidescrolling action game, akin to the days of old (Double Dragon, River City Ransom, et al.). I've been playing it off and on for about a year now and it's definitely worth getting into. I have had a lot of fun playing solo, and can see how multiplayer would be even more fun.The premise is simple: an evil mage steals a large jewel, and kidnaps 4 princesses. It's up to you to fight through the lands to get them all back! As expected, the princesses are divided up and made end prizes for various locations. One of them you rescue almost immediately (within 3 levels from the start).

Yes, that is a CATFISH.

The graphic style looks incredible. The hand drawn feel is amazing, and the animation is just plain great. Boss fights are often imaginative but don't require tons of strategy. The humor is mostly absurd, but it's all very entertaining.

You can level up your character with experience points, raising attributes and become more powerful, but you still reach a point where the enemies are too tough and you need to re-play levels just to get enough XP to level up and be strong enough to take them out. I've reached that point. I honestly can't progress without other people playing along side, mostly because the creatures are harder than I can take on by myself. That said, I think I've conquered about 1/2 the game.

God of War Collection (GoW 1 and 2)

PUBLISHER: Sony

DEVELOPER: Sony
Played on: PS3
Initial impression (1): Finally.
Initial impression (2): Better? Better.

Liked:
- Story
- Visuals

Disliked:
- QTE Abuse
- Any Rushed/Timed Puzzle

On The Fence:
- Myth Overload

Kratos, a Spartan pleading for help from the gods while in the heat of battle, unwittingly becomes a slave to Ares, the God of War. Tragedy befalls him and his subsequent revenge is your journey. It drags you through 'heaven and hell,' literally, to destroy those who wronged you. It will be hard for me to separate the two games without doing two separate reviews, but that's OK because what I liked and didn't is the same across both games.

God of War (1) Screenshot

Liked
The tale of Kratos is one I was already slightly familiar with. Previously I had been riveted by Chains of Olympus on the PSP, which provided enough of a back story to make that game interesting but not so much to make GoW unnecessary. Aside from some seemingly dead-end moments, the pacing of the game unraveled the tale nicely. The visuals - a cleaned up and repackaged PS2 game - were amazing, considering the game's age. I'll have to look into what they actually did with the remastering, because the cutscenes looked great. The environments like Hades and Pandora's Temple were very inspired.

Disliked
Quick Time Events are when you're watching a cutscene and there's a break in the action where a button command flashes on the screen. You have about 2 seconds or less to react or else it's game over. I'm also no stranger to QTEs. Shenmue had them. Heavy Rain had them. Lots of games have had them, but the ones in GoW feel forced. Every GoW game I've played has these QTEs at the most disjointed locations (defeating a major boss, watching story... OH SHIT SMASH BUTTONS!) and every time it caught me off-guard. Furthermore, every time you failed to press the button in time it was completely "game over" forcing you to re-watch the same cutscene OVER AND OVER until you got it right. Even worse, the button combos CHANGE every time you encounter the QTE. FUCK QTEs.

Press X To Jason.. er, eye gouge.

Also, timed puzzles are shit. I complain about these every time I encounter them and I will continue to complain about them because they are asinine bullshit. You know exactly what I mean - push a button or throw a lever on the extreme left side of a room, then run like hell to get through the gate it opened 3 rooms over to the extreme right. There was one such timed puzzle that I had to look up how to defeat it, but it took me watching a video to get through. It sucked, because I had already figured out what needed to be done but I wasn't doing it fast enough. Turns out (as I saw in the video) I was jumping too early and it added a quarter-second to the time needed to get through. This was rage-inducing to the point I wanted to hurl the controller through the TV. Oh, my point - GoW is riddled with these timed puzzles. There's at least one every stage/area. Luckily 90% of them are not so surgically precise.

On The Fence
I don't honestly recall much of GoW1's plot to say if it completely qualifies for the myth overload descriptor, but GoW2 certainly does. Pegasus, Icarus, Gaia, Prometheus, Zeus, Atlas, Perseus just to name a few, and almost all of those characters give you some sort of power or weapon to use. It was my encounter with Icarus that sparked my eye-rolling at the sheer amount of mythology that was being piled on. I'm not really complaining about it, but I did feel that they were being unfortunately shoehorned into the tale to provide cool accessories more than they were being given the proper representation. Granted, a curious sort will go look those stories up after the exposure, but you're not answering many Jeopardy! questions from playing these games.

In Conclusion
The God Of War collection is a great way to play the PS2 games I was never able to play, mostly because I didn't own a PS2. They look great and gameplay is solid. There are some frustrating mechanics that define the genre of third person platformers, but in spite of them you get a great story.

PARENTAL WARNING: Lots of violence, lots of female nudity. Boobs, large and perky, are often seen uncovered. There's a sex mini-game (which apparently is completely miss-able). The Oracle, some random women on a boat, and even some enemies have giant DD+ sized tits that are never covered. Oh yeah... that sex mini game? It's a QTE.

This is from God of War III, but it's just continuing the trend.

South Park: The Stick of Truth

PUBLISHER: Ubisoft

DEVELOPER: Obsidian/SPS
Played on: PS3
Initial impression: Sweet...

Liked:
- Story
- Visuals
- Music

Disliked:
- Repetition
- Overall 'Rushed' Feeling
- Thematic Breakdown

On The Fence:
- DLC?

"Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things. Like, like this. [grabs a stick from the ground] We could just play with this. Screw video games, dude! Who fuckin' needs them?!" 

-Eric Cartman

Episode 246: Titties And Dragons

In the best viral marketing I've seen in a long time, South Park creators Matt & Trey had a three-part Game of Thrones/Console Wars parody that ended with an advertisement for this game. Years in the making (I want to believe it started with the LOTR parody episode), they finally had it ready... and it was SWEET.

This is totally what it's like, you guys...

Likes
The tale has you, the new kid in town, learning who your neighbors and new friends are, all through an extended Live-Action Role Playing game of which apparently all the boys in town are taking part. Doesn't matter what you look like or what your name is (but, let's be clear, you're a boy... no girls allowed), they'll take you in because you're one of them. You gather friends on Facebook (that's what the menu and inventory screen is based on!) and there's even an achievement or two for getting popular. Like any other standard RPG, you have a 'party' of friends traveling with you, but in combat you can only use one of them (2 on your side, up to 4 on the enemy side). Each 'buddy' has special abilities that tie to them - Butters can invoke his Professor Chaos persona, while Kyle has a lot of Jewish-themed moves. The gameplay, visuals and dialog are as if you're watching a multiple part episode story arc on Comedy Central. Everything in the world looks, sounds and feels like it does on the show. The medieval fantasy inspired music interjected with familiar pieces from the beginning of the show's existence remind me of the old LucasArts IMUSE system.

Your first friend is Butters. This isn't even a spoiler as it happens about 2 minutes into the game.

Dislikes
The few things I didn't like seem a little nit-picky. Dialog in fights are incredibly repetitious, especially when you're using the same supporting characters and their special abilities often. I swear if I hear the Professor Chaos intro again I'm going to be ill.

I felt at one point that I was being rushed from plot point to plot point, and as a result I was missing out on some of the more subtle things happening in the game universe. I learned to just ignore my main quest line on the second play through (I'm about half-way through that). It's not really a race to the end, and the game is short enough without running straight to the main quest points.

Then there's thematic breakdown of equipment. "What is thematic breakdown?," you might ask. It's when a game is created with a very specific theme, but then factors are introduced that chip away at the set theme in a way that makes it lose the original spark. This game suffers from it in that the gear you use quickly becomes unthematic. At first, you are dressed appropriately for a kid's interpretation of medieval fantasy, but as you level up and outgrow the usefulness of that equipment, you can only replace it with stuff like SWAT gear. I think they should have had a system in place where you take the 'found' items (i.e. SWAT gear) to the kid playing an armorer to alter it into the appropriate style. The only other system I think they should have introduced as an alternative is to have a 'gear' loadout and a 'cosmetic' loadout, like what LOTRO has. This way your cosmetic could look right, but your stats are coming from your actual gear.

On The Fence
This DLC rant involves two things: Pre-order DLC and the dangling carrot of more content. Dangling carrot first: I'll say it. This game was short. Really short. Arkham City short. inFamous 2 short. So short that you might not feel pleased for spending $60 on it. But never fear - They claim that DLC is on the way, including more quests! Hordes of people online are bitching about it being content that was supposed to be in the game that they removed to offer as DLC. Some speculate that it's unfinished levels, and that Obsidian wanted to see how the game was received before bothering with polishing them. Whatever. Just give me more to do and I'll be happy.

Now the Pre-Order DLC. I'll admit it. I pre-ordered to get the three exclusive costumes, and they were great. They looked awesome and weren't too overpowered for the level in which I was using them. That said, I really wish I could have used them for more than a level or two. I out-leveled their usefulness in about a half hour.

This is what I got. The Fellowship Pack is thematic and great, while the other set is silly but fits SP.

In Conclusion
If you're a South Park super fan, you already have this game. If you're a slightly more casual fan (like me) you should totally check this game out. If it's been a while since you've watched South Park, do yourself a favor and catch up on the episodes before firing this game up. The amount of in-jokes that span the entire rub of the show is ridiculous and hilarious.

I'm hoping they listen to fans and come out with DLC or a new game that changes the Fantasy RP to the Super Hero (Coon & Friends) RP. That would be awesome.

PARENT WARNING: This game is crude in both visuals and dialog. It's NOT SAFE to play around kids, nor is it safe for kids to play. I don't care if they have watched the show. This is the equivalent of the raunchiest Tarantino-written R rated film, except it's now in interactive format.

Bioshock Infinite

PUBLISHER: 2k Games
DEVELOPER: Irrational Games
Played on: PS3
Initial impression: Familiar but different.

Liked:
- Story
- New Gameplay Elements
- Featured Music

Disliked:
- Rail system
- Boss fight issue

On The Fence:
- Tone and Theme

Bring Us The Girl And Wipe Away The Debt

It is 1912 America, and Columbia attempts to be a perfect, pure example of all that is great - Pure, in every negative sense imaginable. Bigotry, racial segregation, Nazism, jingoism, and xenophobia all play their parts in the civil uprising that is taking place throughout the game. At times it seems the setting is more Post-Civil War Reconstruction Era than early 1910s.

All those rather shocking (for some) aspects aside, the story is a good one. There is mystery behind the main character’s motivation – like who sent him on this assignment?  There is an extraordinary science fiction element introduced by the main supporting character – a teenage girl with an unusual power. A menacing overseer that literally swoops in and acts without speaking. As the story unfolds, you are introduced to the history of Columbia – both the sanitized, newsreel version and the gritty truth. There isn’t a whole lot I can say about the plot without giving away major spoilers.

This incarnation of Bioshock introduced a new spin on the old Plasmid system of powers, renamed Vigors, by allowing a player to create traps with them. These newly styled powers include things like a “Murder of Crows” – a stream of a dozen or so crows to circle and harm the victim. That particular power, when used as a trap, manifests as a nest, which explodes into birds when an enemy approaches.

Murder Of Crows in action

While wandering around Columbia, fans of mid-1980s to early 1990s music will no doubt catch a familiar sounding tune coming across phonographs and loudspeakers. The Irrational crew has done a great job reimagining some iconic pop songs as 1920s era hits, and it’s all explained in-game how these came to be.

Dislikes

There’s a system of rails that interconnects the various parts of the floating city. Think of it like one of those suspended roller coasters. This skyhook system, for me, was very difficult to navigate at times, especially when I had to rely on them to hit the next plot point.

Boss Fights – well, a specific boss fight at least – got on my nerves, especially since after I defeated this character, I went to a new area and had to fight them again. What’s the point in showing me this character’s defeat if they’re just going to pop up again in 10-15 minutes? Thankfully there was only the one resurgence.

On The Fence

The Tone and Theme of this game is very dour. Comstock built Columbia as a refuge from all that was wrong in America, and apparently, to him, the non-white population was a huge part of what he felt was wrong. Between the museum exhibits demonizing the Chinese and the Native American and the segregation of the races, I felt the need to shake my head on several occasions based on what I saw and heard.

That said, I understand it. I’m not saying I like it, but I’m not wholly offended. I’m not offended by the racial bigotry, religious overtones, blatant preaching or apparent blasphemy that runs all throughout the game, and neither should you. The game is a reflection of the worst of the era. It’s no different than watching a film about slavery in the early 1800s.

In Conclusion

In the end, the game is a good follow up/prequel to the original Bioshock game story line. It is a decent FPS with some minor RPG elements and a decent story that will have you scratching your head by the end.

Portal 2

PUBLISHER: Valve
DEVELOPER: Valve
Played on: PS3
Initial impression: Hoping it's not a rehash, but then... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Liked:
- Story
- New Gameplay Elements

Disliked:
- Some Puzzle Ambiguity
- Graphic Anachronism

On The Fence:
- Replayability
- Multiplayer

Oh, Valve - How I love your story-driven games. The original Portal, released as a tech demo for the most part, was among the best games I had ever played, both from a technical and story perspective. I was very enthused to play the follow-up title and I was not disappointed in the least. I'm just sorry it took me so long to get to it.

In case you're not familiar, Portal 2 is a direct sequel to Portal 1 (Valve even changed the ending to Portal 1 via an update to make it work). You play as silent protagonist and Aperture Science test subject Chell, awoken from stasis in order to help a rogue personality core escape the establishment before it decays into ruin. Things don't quite work out so smoothly. You're eventually flung into the bowels of the facility, left to explore the original offices built in the 50's, then the 70's, and again to the locations from Portal. You'll get to hear commentary from the charismatic founder of Aperture, Cave Johnson. His pre-recorded messages were hilarious and the look of the early areas as well as his descent into madness were thoroughly entertaining.

The new storyline was entertaining and informative, with enough callbacks to the original to make it gel nicely. Those who have played it can see what I did there. I made a self-referencing joke to a gameplay element. I've marked your reaction in your file. I'm sure you'll be rewarded, as well as the talk of [SUBJECT HOME TOWN].

This leads me to the gels - Repulsion, Propulsion and Conversion gels, specifically. For those new to the game, they are explained and utilized rather nicely without shoving too much info at you at once. Repulsion is bouncy. Propulsion makes you move faster. Conversion turns any surface into a Portal-friendly surface.

On to the only two things I didn't like about the game:

Some puzzles were just too ambiguous. Maybe it was me, trying to solve these on too little sleep in the middle of the night that kept me from figuring them out. Maybe it really was that obscure. I had to look up a solution to two specific spots, and I'm kind of angry that I felt I was forced into it. I'll admit that I was frustrated by some puzzles in the first game too, so I'm going to chalk it up to my occasionally un-clever mind.

The other issue is a bit of an anachronism. There's a time in the game when you go back to areas you saw in the first game. These areas are nearly identical, except for the "new" graphic for the doors. I don't know how much time passed between 1 and 2, but I do know that the facility was more or less dormant for that amount of time. Who came along and replaced all the doors? The turrets? A slight screw up there in my book. If it's explained in some hidden room diary, well, that's fine I suppose. Would have been nice for them to acknowledge or explain the change with some character dialog (GLaDOS or Wheatley).

I'm sure at some point I'll replay the game just for the trophies and to look around at the environment some more. I'm not itching to get back there.

The multiplayer element is a stand-alone co-op storyline that weaves back and forth through the single player experience. I've not yet played it but I am looking forward to it. The hard part is finding someone who can play it well enough. (I have a standing offer from a fellow FPS veteran, so Whenever I can get to it...)

Overall I find Portal 2 about as good as the original. It felt like a longer game, and the new mechanics made for a nice spin on the old game. I'd say this one is worth playing even if you didn't play the first one, but honestly you'd need to play the first one to catch all the nuances of the plot.

Dead Space (NOT A REVIEW)

Dead Space 3 came out today! This just means I need to play Dead Space 2...

I was in love with Dead Space (the first one) when I got it. I loved it so much (PS3) I played it again. And again. And... yes, again. I've played the original game five times, each time making sure to use all the equipment from every previous play through so I could make use of all those upgrades, and maybe finally upgrade everything (I still haven't).

I loved Dead Space so much I couldn't wait to play more. This is when I got Extraction for the Wii, and this was when my enthusiasm sunk like a stone in a clear, still pond. Extraction was fun for a moment, but the controls on the Wii were clumsy and - in a word - sucked. I didn't give it more than a half-hour of my time.

It bothered me that something I loved so much had become so awful that it is now the last time I've played anything Dead Space related, and the last time I played anything on the Wii. What was it about the game that turned me off so fast? Was it the sub-par graphics? The clunky controls? Yes. All of the above. The on-rails shooter wasn't what I loved about the Dead Space game, and it being shoe-horned into another format just didn't mesh with me.

I look forward to starting up Dead Space 2 (and subsequently Dead Space 3) in the next week or so. If I play it like I did the first one, I'll be done with both by April.

SIDE NOTE: I pre-ordered Dead Space 3 to get an exclusive, in-game gun. The slip that the store printed out for me with the PS3 code states that the code expires... yesterday. I've been assured that the code will work, and that the expiration date is a coding error, but it's just one of those silly, annoying things.